text message
wife: you have a big job when you get home…….explain to Child #1 why he can’t sit in a public place and play with his wienner bc otherwise my mother is going to chop his hands off…
husband: Lmfao Child #1? I figured it would be Child #2 (who is 4)
wife: no kid (#!) has had a hard on 2 days bc he won’t leave his thang alone, at this rate he is going to be blind way before puberty
husband: omg. You are killing me, ROFLMA
wife: no I am for real, mom has sent him to wash his hands about 50 times & is threatening to put clothes on him (yes they run around in underwear at home)
husband: give him some lexapro
wife: now that is pure genius…..
