Yea, I know, I’m jumping around and I just noticed that I didn’t do part two of the last story, oops, so sorry. I will get to it, I promise.
For now, I’m giong to tell stories as they come to me or are brought up in my every day life. And, for now, that is the story of me, my mother, my mother’s exhusband (one of them) and my father. Let me start this out by telling you that I moved to my fathers in my early teens. He and I are very much alike, we thought alike, we had the same orderly nature and we just gelled. He didn’t agree with my disaster of a bedroom but he wasn’t one of those parents that nagged about it, he did, 30 years ago what Barbara Walters told her audience earlier this week to do, “close the door”.
He spanked me a couple of times when I was young, once for standing in front of the TV. I remember it well. I was around 4 (they divorced at 4 so I couldn’t have been older than 4) and I had been to church with my parents wearing this enormously large blue dress. And, I wanted to be seen some more that day. So, I chose to stand in front of the TV. He said move, I didn’t. He said move, I didn’t. He got a belt.
Another time we were in the kitchen and someone dropped a spoon. He said “pick it up” and I said, “no” and he said, “pick it up” and I said “no” and he spanked me.
The third time was on one of my weekend visits with him, he had washed my hair or I had one and since it was down to my waist it was difficult to brush out. He broke the brush trying to brush my hair. I cried like I was dying. I wouldn’t stop crying, so he pulled the ol, “if you are gonna cry, I’m gonna give you a reason to cry” and he spanked me so I had a reason to cry.
The only other time he had to discipline me in my life was for skipping 2 hours of school one morning. And, really he didn’t punish me for that, I was afraid he would be mad because the only reason I went in late was because I as on the phone late and I was sleepy so I lied about it. Since he was a teacher, he knew I was late even though he taught at another school, he knew before I ever got home. That was it really. He died when i was 19. Who knows how much different my life would have been otherwise. I say that because I really made some bad decisions from the time he died up through about age 31. So, just curious.
My mother was quite different. She basically would just put up with my smart mouth, my acting out and not doing my homework in time to go to church for the 14th time that week. She would steam and boil about how bad her life was and how she missed so much because I was so non-compliant. Her basicaly discipline occured like this: I made her made, she fussed at me, I fussed back, she cried, I wouldn’t hush, she got mad, she cried more, I didn’t apologize for making her cry, she got mad, I smarted off some more” and then…all holy hell would break loose.
She would get one of my step-father‘s belts. Let’s be clear here, he was my mother’s first cousin. They married each other numerous times and he was abusive to me, to her, to me, to her…Anyway, she would get one of his belts and commence to dragging me to their bedroom (which quite honestly made me want to puke just going in that room – more on that later).
She would start hitting me with the belt. Butt, legs, back, side, butt, back, legs. She would hit and hit and hit until she was exhausted and then she would leave the room and I’d go to my room to cry. Sometimes I wouldn’t cry when she spanked me and it would just make her madder so she would just keep hitting. It hurt, I know it did. But, I was a bit bigger than her and as long as she stuck to my butt and legs, she would get tired before I would start to hurt too bad. the sides, th back, that was different story.
Anyway, we’ve had a few incidents in my adult live where she has spanked one of my children and I have spoke up and told her to stop. One was recently, and she was simply mad because 4.5 year old who is still experiencing his terrible 2′s (and does have a sensory disorder) wouldn’t do whatever her latest demand was.
I am in a comprimised situation right now with my help and I’ve needed her to watch my children quite a bit. But, when I yelled at her to stop, she got mad. She is still mad. When she gets mad, you can expect punishment and since I am too old for her to beat me with a belt, she resorts to not speaking to me unless she just has to.
And, the woman lived in a house, with that ex-husband I mentioned up there, while they were arguing, they slept in the same bed, she cooked meals like we were this happy fucking family, she made is damn lunch and did everyone’s laundry just like nothing was wrong. But, she didn’t speak to him at all for 6 weeks. She only spoke to me when she needed something.
She has vengenance. Trust me, she has vengenace.
*Oh and the sidenote about me hating their bedroom. There were several reason for that. I think that one of them was just that simple teenager thought of their parent having sex. Although he wasn’t my father, I had heard them before having sex and it would (and just did just now) made m literlly sick to my stomach.
But, he had this smell, he was a grese monkey so their room always reeked of that. And, then, he would try to shower and cover it up with a certain aftershave – which I absolutely cannot stand to spell to this day. So, the room was stinky – no it fuckin’ stank.
But, one of the main reasons I hated that room so much was because I would hide in my room when I knew he was in the house, only coming out and walking in the hallway when I knew he was no where around. And, on the off chance I made a mistake, I was subjected to his groping and tickling and then his disgusting evil laughter. He makes me want to puke to this day.
Man years later and my mother was seeing him again, I don’t know how many times she married him but even in between she was sleeping with him and running around with him. But, we had 2 girl cousins new to our family and my mother had taken them with her to his house.
I immediately called their mothers, explained to them what I grew up in and why it was a bad idea for the kids to be around him. Naturally, they confronted her, told her not to take their children to his house ever again.
And that………..that led to one of the biggest fights I ever had with her because, as usual, she took someone else’s side. I was always the liar, the one who made shit up just because she didn’t want to believe the real truth.
Ok, tomorrow night, more on kidnapping maybe…..
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